He moved differently—like molten liquid, pouring himself along the ice in an inexorable rush, easily slipping between other skaters and looping around cones, both fire and flood. It seemed impossible that someone that tall and broad could move with such grace.
every gym leader is like “I lost!?! UNBELIEVABLE!” buddy you live in a world where every ten year old child has always been offered a free fire breathing monster at least once and you brought nothing to this fight but anthropomorphic flowers
gym leaders’ whole job is to provide a specific challenge, a battle of a certain type and difficulty level. if you’ve brought the tools and skills to complete that challenge, you’re going to win by design. the pokémon in that battle are probably not actually the strongest pokemon they have.
when gym leaders go “argh, how could i lose??” they’re acting to give your victory legitimacy because you’re 10. they’re like a villain cosplayer letting a baby knock them over. they’re being nice!!
Twitter: what level of enshittification are you on? Tumblr: I dunno, 4, maybe 5? We took away the ability to easily go directly to an individual post off the dashboard and we’re still trying to Pivot to Streaming Twitter: you are like little baby. watch this Twitter: [BANS READING POSTS]
Play a warlock character who calls himself Vithimorex or something like that. Always mention how grateful you are to your patron, Frank, for the wondrous powers he gives you.
Slowly reveal that the powers you get from Frank are things like “sense of smell” and “verbal communication”. As it turns out, Vithimorex is an extradimensional Thing possessing the person formerly known as Frank. All the eldritch blasts and shadow conjurations are boring powers according to Vithimorex. He can’t wait for the level 14 ability to understand and appreciate music.
Also, I realized something about the name I made up, so here’s a song:
When the moon splits in two and your nightmares come true, Vithimorex…
When the world seems to bleed since the dead god was freed, Vithimorex…
